Girls VS. Ligers
As we all know, Ligers are ferocious monsters of darkness obsessed with the destruction of mankind. What isn't as widely known is that girls are also extremely evil and are even suspected of being in league with the ligers (see my guestbook, paying attention to the female entries). But what is the greater threat to mankind? In the following study conducted in a pro-con format, the ALA will finally determine who's more evil, girls or Ligers.
By forcing Adam to eat that forbidden fruit, girls have forever expelled us from paradise.
Ligers have killed countless humans, often devouring them after murdering them.
Girls, through Title IX rulings, have diminished male sports opportunities, which has ruined many dreams.
Ligers have waged war on human kind since the dawn of time, and have not shown any mercy to captured or wounded humans.
Girls have strung people along for about a month, and then never even saw Terminator 3 with me.
Ligers have given illegal campaign contributions to Bill Clinton's 1996 presidential campaign.
Helen of Troy, a girl, forced Greece into a gigantic war that nobody walked away from happy.
Ligers were instrumental in the campaign to eliminate Crystal Pepsi from the market.
Girls have said they would go to the prom with someone, but then said that it was an accident and that they were actually going with someone else. But I got a better date! Do you hear that, Bluter?? BETTER!!!
Ligers assisted the Vietcong at the Battle of Khe Sanh. But we kicked their ass anyway.
Girls think they're better than me just because they're soft and smell nice.
Ligers invented the man Gerard Depardieu.
Girls sometimes actually enjoy watching movies starring Gerard Depardieu.
Ligers are the ones that forced gasoline prices to go up.
Girls are big liars.
As you can see, both have committed heinous crimes, and both are definitely pure evil. After careful study and consideration though, we have made our decision. You see, while man and the Liger have been locked in a life or death struggle for eons, and will never rest until they are the sole rulers of planet Earth, they just want us dead. All they want is to rule planet Earth and have us as food. One might even say that it's nothing personal. At least they'll stand up and fight you. Girls on the other hand do not care whether we are alive or dead. Unlike Ligers, girls seem to have no goal. Their results are the same as their means. They seem to have only one impulse, and that is to make us miserable, demoralize us, destroy our spirit and our will. They want nothing less than our very souls. But therein lies the problem. While the Liger is extremely powerful on the battlefield, even they can be defeated by the arms of men. But there is no discernable way to defeat the girl. However, I vow that I will tirelessly work so that we may not live in fear forever and that their weakness will be found.