Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back

Farewell, brave leader

Our dear leader Shemp, the heir of Eknok, died yesterday while defending a cave filled with small children that ligers wanted to eat. He died bravely, killing 87 Ligers with nothing but his hands and his faithful harpoon before he finally fell. Before he died he wanted everyone to know that the war could still be won, and he was wondering what happened to the Japanese. He was watching the Last Samurai the other day and he thought, "Wow, they used to be awesometacular, but look at them now, they're all so blatantly homosexual." Come on, have you ever seen a villain in japaninmation with the long hair and the feminine features? I think it's because we beat so much shit out of them in World War II that they lost their masculinity. I bet the ligers are eating them by the thousands. Maybe we should have just dropped one nuclear weapon instead of the two on them. Anyway, Shemp was awesome harpoontacularity but now he's dead. We have a couple of new webmasters now. E-mail them from now on. They're at david@tapestry.tucson.az.us and Onedopedog@aol.com. All right. That's it.

General Shemp

1986-2003

"We hardly knew ye"