Shemp and Vartramitos

A study in contrasts

         Name
            Shemp                                       Vartramitos

        Allegiance
       Anti-Liger Alliance                           Nation of Ligeria

        Height
              5'9                                          20'4

        Weight
            140 lbs.                                     2200 lbs.

         Age
              17                                          25,315

        Demeanor
           Pleasant                                       Evil

        Likes:
    Harpoons, Rayon, the Civil War,              Apartheidism, UPN, the 
   and tales of adventure.                      Internet, and having fun.

       Dislikes:
    Girls, Communism, bicycle riders,       Christianity, black/white cop movies
     and loneliness.                       (like Lethal Weapon), non-Euclidean 
                                                 geometry.

        Faults:
       None.                              Perhaps looks a bit too much like a
                                                         lion.

        Quotes:
  "So wait. A blouse is just a shirt        "I don't know about this whole green
 that's for girls?"                        ketchup thing. I was fine with red."

  "I'm so sick of Stockholm syndrome.       "I liked the old action stars like
 Who loves their kidnapper? Idiots, that's    Stallone and Arnold. They could 
   who."                                    beat the heck out of Vin Diesel and 
                                            the Rock like nobody's business."