How Miagi and Lee saved Jesus

         Screw all of you for making me do this. Here I was, perfectly happy
being lazy, and now I've got to write this damn historical account of how Mr
Miagi teamed up with General Lee, once worst enemies, to save Jesus from Ligers. 

         It all started in the year 10 B.C. General Lee had just used his time
machine to go back to find hot servant fan girls. While searching, he ended up
defeating the then-great Nigerian army from taking over Europe, and hence
saving history from oblivion. Although the Nigerian fruit-weapons outmatched
anything of their time, nothing could overcome Lee's great military genius. 

         After the last battle, Lee returned to his grand tent, enjoying his
hordes of fan-girls, grape wenches, and scantily-clad dancers (girls were cool
back then, you see).  Suddenly, a pair of ligers burst through the wall! Now
Lee had never seen Ligers before, but knew instantly their overwhelming evil and
desire for grapes. Without hesitation Lee formulated a masterful plan. 

         Using the grape wenches to lure the ligers, Lee used this time to set
up the fan girls behind the ligers in a diamond shape. He ordered the dancers to
surround the ligers and dance their most suggestive dance 'L'Amor a la Hottie'. 
Then, as the ligers began to realize they were surrounded, Lee escaped out under
the wall of the tent and ran away. He could always get more servant girls, but 
there was only one General Lee. While running, Lee forgot to watch where he was
going and ran right into Miagi! Getting up he turned to Miagi and grinned.
         "So we meet again, karate man"
         "Yes, but this time you don't have your army to stop me!"
         Lee started using his humongous cranium to derive a plan, but it was too
late! Miagi executed his spinning crane stance of fire death, knocking Lee to 
the ground. Lee then knew he should have listened to the old hermit from his own
time, but it was too late now. 

         However, before Miagi could execute his final blow, a group of ligers
ran around the corner and started heading towards Lee and Miagi.
"We'll finish this later. Don't think you've heard the last of these mighty
fists of fury." And with that Miagi faces and starts battling the Ligers.
Knowing then that the only way to survive would be to join Miagi in defeating
the Ligers, Lee pulled out his awesome sword of civilness. Together, they
destroyed the ligers, leaving only one barely alive. Lee walked over and pulled
the crumpled liger up to his face.
         "Why? Why have you sent forces here?" Lee yelled.
         "Isn't it obvious? We will kill Jesus, thereby altering the course of
history! It will make us invincible!!!"
       
         Lee threw the liger down in disgust, and stabbed it through its heart.
However much he hated it, he would have to join Miagi for the time being to save
Jesus. Hearing screams from the city plaza, the pair ran down there to find Jesus
battling off hordes upon hordes of Ligers! However, even Jesus was weakening and
all of the townspeople were standing scared. Miagi leapt into the liger group 
and grabbed Jesus, then flew back out. The ligers screamed in rage. Meanwhile, 
Lee had used his awesome inspirational skills to rally the townspeople. 

         While the townspeople were fighting, Lee and Miagi escorted Jesus to
Jerusalem, where he would be perfectly safe. The townspeople, though doomed, would
fight well using Lee's strategy and damage the Liger's forces enough to prevent
them from launching another attack on Jesus for a long time. 

         With a parting wave, Lee and Miagi left to return to their own time and
find this 'Anti Liger Alliance' of which the liger spoke of with so much hate.
Oh, and as for their friendship? It turns out Lee didn't owe Miagi seven 
dollars, and Miagi hadn't slept with Lee's wife, so all was well in the end.